feeings.

I use to be so socialised, but now I hate parties I think is because I cant dance interact with people quickly and cant just walk about, It upsets me to see people enjoying themselves, which I know is wrong, but I refuse to say I am disabled, I have not yet excepted it, I still think I can just get up, walk talk and run around, I use to love getting in my car and visiting my friends. At the moment I feel like its ground hog day, I know I should do more, but I just don't feel like it, I sometimes feel like my life is on hold, everyone including my husband tries and ask me all the time if I want to do things, but I just say no all the time, everything seems so much effort these days, although I was a good cook, but when I think about it because its such a effort, that one thing I don't do it no more, which is silly because I use to love and experiment with food, add this add that I was not afraid of food, which is a shame because I liked so much, horses singing going out, anything really. Things are not even the same with my Grand children any more, although I love them very much, I cant do the things I use to. I really miss playing with them and baby sitting them, we do have them, but only for a short while, its not the same and I have a Grand daughter now nearly a year, its not the same with my Grandsons either, although I did go with Scott to see our Grandson Bobby play football, his a goalie, hi very good his 9 and plays for Harlow, he does training night on a Tuesday.