Christmas ( poem)

Jingle bells a Christmas song
Many more to sing
They come round at the door
They come when you are in.

Go to bed late that night
Hoping for the snow
Christmas morning will arrive
Presents with a bow.


Lots for everyone I see
Open them with care
Never know what you got
Some may not be fare.

Turkey in the oven and veg ready to go
The smells are good
Turkey smells so nice
Could smell where I was stood

The Christmas tree a glistening
Tinsel balls and lights
Real or not they look nice
their never out of sight

Dish the food to everyone
Mountains on the plate
Christmas hats on their head
Don't they look a state

Never mind all the same
Sitting down to eat
Just like a roast
We like a lot of meet

A special day Christmas day
Everything is bright
Glitter on the table mats
And even time to play

All the smells they come to me
In a single flash
So soon its gone
Even after bash

The day has gone its gone quick
All that hype for us
Just one day for all concerned
What's with all the fuss

Invisable ( poem )

Am I there
Yes I am
Can you see
Give a dam

You go out
Don't say goodbye
Unless reminded
Apple of my eye


People walk past
And don't say a word
Don't know I'm there
How absurd

It hurts so much
Wish they new
How I might feel
But haven't a clue

Say hello or goodbye
Or always talk to me
Never just walk straight past
Please acknowledge me

Invisible do I feel
Feel as if not there
Its very hard
To much to even bare

I have feelings
Don't you know
May be different to everyone
Really makes me low

Two little boys ( poem )

Dirty knees falling all the time
They don't care
Dirty hands
Don't care what they wear

Climbing trees or anything
Like to make a fuss
Girls not on their mind
People they don't trust

Climbing frames they love so well
Always acting big
Shoes get ruined
An eat just like a pig

They come home anytime
Just you wait an see
No sense of time it means nothing
Come home when time for tea

Dirty knees they come home
Wash your hands before you eat
Get a drink you must need one
And sit down on the seat

Slow

Got no patience, been 4 years now and although I come along way from just having eye movement to walking with frame (zimmer), moving talking a few words, nothing quick enough for me.
A  man I read about, it only took him 6 months to be back to almost normal, it could take me years.
All I can say is that he could not have lost his core like me, even my balance no good, they say practice makes perfect, but I been doing the same thing in my wet room for along time now and nothing different.
I think I lost a lot of nerves, tummy feels strange, as if I had a operation very numb, getting checked for bladder rely on pads for urine no 2 I know, my mouth not the same, cant cough feels like I can feel my tongue all the time and my mouth on the go all the time

Daughters (poem)

Daughters they mean everything
No matter what their age
Funny things they may do
Even when a faze

It dose not matter what they say
To tell me all their news
They can tell me anything
Or give me many clues

I know best, its what I got
Instinct just kits in
If someone good, or even bad
Because they are my kin

They make me smile, quite a lot
I feel so happy as well
Older now not young no more
Did everything, even when they fell

Some got children, of their own
Now its time for them
To be a parent, and be there
To always be a gem

To have the partners they have got
Could not asked for more
Could have gone the other way
Gets me to the core

One has moved so far away
Text we do do now
She's my youngest but alright
Miss her every day

My Carer (poem)

 I use to do everything
But know I need the help
Wash and dry and dressing now
Can you imagine how I felt

Carol is my carer now
And friend in every way
She helps me with everything
Helps me every day

I would not be
The person I am now
If not for Carol
She shows me how

Exercise she makes me do
Only for the best
Worries all the time for me
That I don't do rest

No one talks like Carol does
And thorough threw and threw
She's there for me all the time
Even when a queue

She takes me out to the town
Seeing mum as well
We get along that's for sure
Yes we even gel

My favourite person Carol is
Does so much for me
Makes the difference to my life
Just hope she can see

Change (poem}

We don't care
You have known
For a very long time
To yourself you have shown

It was a shock
To both of us
Your just you
What's all the fuss

Friends are friends
Who ever they are
Talk anytime
Come in your car

You have moved,so far away
To somewhere that is far
To be excepted, for who you are
And live your life each day

You suet the clothes
You have now
Make up nails and bags
Your our friend, no matter what
How you look, so glad

We glad we know
Trust comes in
A big decision you have made
And it not a sin

Its who you want to be
An has gone through your mind
Sod the rest, don't understand
Their being so unkind

We love you
Did you know
You come to us, for everything
Even when your low

Come to us anytime
Were listen all the way
We understand promise you
Anytime of day

Your so brave
Honest you are
To come out now
You've come far

Don't mind the others
Their so cruel
Just be yourself
Don't give them any fuel

Proud of you
we both are
For telling us
Your go far

Husband ( poem )

Best friend and lover
A friend for life
It took years
To become his wife

He loves me
With all his mind
To take that away
Would be unkind

Years have passed
Kids in toll
They've all grown up
We made them grow

His my sol mate
That's for sure
Meant to be
Want no more

Makes me laugh
All the time
His words so funny
His so fine

His all mine
Its always said
Next to me
In my bed

Where together
Forever more
Keep us together
That's for sure

Words ( poem )

They can come
In any way
Deep in your mind
There here to stay

Thinking a lot
You cant get them out
Scrambled together
Maybe your shout

There all on your mind
For you to say
Words and sayings
Maybe their stay

For me they don't come quick
I cant get them out
So frustrating
What's that all about

Long or short
For you to find
What do they mean
Their one of a kind

Express yourself
Means the world to all
To say what you think
Makes you feel tall

All sorts of thoughts
Come to your mind
Don't you ever
Get left behind

Freinds ( poem )

Their always there
In the hour of need
Time don't matter
Colour or creed

A shoulder to cry on
Can talk all the time
And they will listen
Not cross the line

Friendship is good
Good for me
Maybe you've noticed
Or can you see

Gifts you may get
I promise you
Anything good
My point of view

They don't butt an eye lid
To what you may say
To always be honest
In every way

You may see them
Once in a while
It don't matter
They know your file

See them or not
There always there
And there's the phone
I don't care

Keep in touch
As much as you can
Even a text
There not ban

Dogs ( poem )

All sorts of breeds
Big and small
Fat and thin
Love them all

Some are curly
Some are straight
With their hair
Its their fate

Any colour
They may be
Brown black or white
They can be

Vicious tame
They can be
Down to the owners
They might bite me

They want someone
To treat them right
Just like kids
Out of sight

They love and cherish
All the time
Its great for me
They all mine

Unconditional
Love for you
Always running
Up to you

Till their breath
Is no longer there
Heaven springs to mind
House looks bare 

Restbite 28th may Jubilee Lodge Chigwell 2016

Arrived Saturday 28th May at 1pm, went to lunch why Scott unpacked,
This week has been so nice, all the fuss and key workers, people doing my needs every shift, not having to explain makes all the difference.
Liked all trips except Wednesday, where the volunteer was rude and seem to want her friend more than me, to the point of making me cry, and found myself being consoled by a guest David, the volunteer looked stern too,  yes she took me shops I wanted, but she and us was on a go slow had no choice, she never ask just told. Left to go outside to have cigarette and have always had someone
with me, her excuse to windy, good job she never came Wednesday was very windy but Suzanna stayed with me at all time
Entertainment and food good, no complaints, staff in general great, volunteers in general fantastic.
Trips this week were
Monday cable cars.
Tuesday lakeside.
Wednesday westfield.
Thursday canel trip on long barge boat, was fantastic, what an experience.
Entertainment great, food great trips great.

seaside ( poem )

Arrived thank god
To see the cars
To find a space
Look see if there's bars

Kids in toe
They cant wait
The sun is shining
Lets not be late


Sand on my feet
Breeze in my hair
Pebbles around
Every where

Lets find a space
To lay down our tales
Amongst the shells
Lets not fail

Come on lets go
Day nearly gone
Lets get running
There isn't one

Over there
Quick let us run
Then we can sit
Sit in the sun

An ice cream we need
To cool us down
So off we went
To hunt him down

The ice cream man
There he is
Ice cream and lollies
And they all his

Beam down the sun
Sea breeze on me
Lets have a paddle
Or up to our knees


Maybe the sunshine
Is here for good
Summers here
And so it should.

Feeding

Well when I was in hospital, I first was fed with a cannula in my arm, I never felt a thing, they use to water and food down it, but then the doctor said I was to have a Peg Tube fitted straight into my tummy which would be a lot easier.
Every 4 hours they had to use a empty syringe to put water then food then water, they would do it slow, but I never felt it.
While I was in hospital my husband and family had to learn how to do it, which we had an outside person to help us, the feeding and the cleaning, the very best thing to use  funny enough is diet coke I learnt that in Epping.
The food came in a small bottle called forty sip and there was a lot of different flavour's, my favourite was the black currant one, but they did banana, strawberry, a mix fruit, mocha, they were all nice, its funny because although you get feed straight into your tummy, it does make you burp and you must not do it to fast or your burp more.
I was glad that it came out an I could eat properly but cut, I was at first on a soft mashed diet, but I eat most things now, as long as its cut, its so much better being able to eat normally than being tube fed, I was well bad I really wanted to eat and drink, which is another thing, at first nothing then small sips with 2 thickener to 1 thickener, now I have normal drinks no thickener, it so much easier for my husband and I and for anyone involved.

Equipment

To be able to come out of hospital, I had to have the wright equipment in place,a hospital bed, wheelchair and hoist, later after I spent a lot time with physiotherapist a Rotary stand and walker frame. When I used the hoist it was very hard, because they at first they gave me a sling that was to small, it took a lot of phones calls from my husband to get the right one, so I went along time being bed bound which I did not like. Not forgetting my pads we were left alone to sort that our selves, even to the point that having a bad stomach used a lot of pads, well my husband rang Latton Bush to ask for more and they first told us I was only to use 4 a day and that would have to send someone round and we could explain,, they now give me 7 a day, but I can now use the toilet for number 2 but still have no control over my bladder, I use one for day and a larger one with stick sides for night. I have 2 wheelchairs, one manual and one from Holly Wheelchairs, which is electric and I can use myself, they are going to change the foot plate though, its a single unit and I had a nasty accident the other month.